Academic writing is a complex and often painful process, made more difficult by the alienating pressures placed on academics to publish. In this paper, we offer an analysis of this pain that is both phenomenological and realist. We draw on literatures from several disciplines and our own experiences as academic writers to identify seven 'pains', each of which represents a particular set of discomforts generated by the act of academic writing, especially in the humanities and social sciences. These discomforts arise from self-confrontation, visibility and external gaze, discursive complexity, struggle for authenticity and sincerity, ambiguities in the temporal horizons, external judgment, and loss of control. We argue that confronting and intentionally negotiating these discomforts provides opportunities for self-enhancement and even self-transformation. Writing is a space of continually becoming. We hold out the hope that academics might acknowledge the sources of their writing discomforts and recognise themselves as writers (as well as academics).