Plagiarism is an unfortunate but often inevitable byproduct of human discourse. It may have begun with one enviable cave drawing being copied onto another cave wall--without attribution. Ironically, and probably just as inevitably, the modern classroom serves as a kind of breeding ground or incubator for this ancient, murky form of theft. A 2011 study by Pew Research confirms this regrettable truth and implies that the so-called digital revolution is only making things worse (Parker). Empirical observations from over three decades in the classroom suggest that students plagiarize for a variety of reasons. Some students, sadly, are simply dishonest and lazy, and they steal because it seems easy and painless. Some students are not initially present for an education; instead they want a piece of paper that will create opportunity in their lives. Other students do not understand the ramifications of misusing words or ideas because they have never produced intellectual property of their own. In addition, many students do not understand the potential consequences of plagiarism, nor do they understand how easily it can be detected and confirmed. Another significant factor is that students fear the actual documentation process and find it an unfamiliar, overly intricate burden. And a final, delicate issue is often the assignment itself: questionably long research paper assignments that are unconnected to a student's interests or knowledge base are sometimes a catalyst for intellectual thievery. This article touches upon each of these student types and concludes that like so many other issues in education, the most effective remedy to plagiarism is quality, relevant instruction, and that quality and relevance should be grounded in the simple dichotomy of why and how.