Far too often, Black women like the author, and so many others from groups that have been historically marginalized in STEM, are made to "assume some kind of position" as they navigate the hostility of a disciplinary culture that was never intended for them but has, nevertheless, benefited from them. On varying levels, that "position" has rendered their perspectives--and them--unheard, unseen, and even shut out of STEM. Whenever the author is asked what "should" be done to change "this," her answer is no different than what educator Marva Collins said decades ago--"fix ourselves first!" This article discusses why we can never change what is happening around us if we do not change what is happening within us. The author states that, in general, STEM reform pays too little attention to the heart, inevitably perpetuating racial inequities and failing to empower faculty to teach, train, or lead in ways that would no longer require any STEM student or faculty of color to assume an unfavorable position.