Traditional authentic assessment tasks are frequently tied to future work and enmeshed in neoliberal and capitalist visions of education. We advocate an alternative approach where authenticity signifies meaningful learning outside the confines of the classroom to promote deep learning that 'sticks'. We proffer an understanding of "assessment as pedagogy," where pedagogy is an ontological endeavour that shapes not only what students know but how they understand themselves and their place in the world. We highlight creative assessments as a form of authentic pedagogy that eschews instrumentalism in three ways: highlighting opportunities for connection and community; reorienting students towards a more vulnerable conception of learning that is open to uncertainty; and eliciting wonder and joy via invitations to see the world anew. We argue creative assessments promote deeply authentic learning that can be transformative for students and educator-co-learners alike.