A number of critiques have been positioned against the modern university as the center of multiple modes of colonial and neoliberal violence; however, the vast majority of these critiques fail to speak to the context of people employed in the field of student affairs and its systemic role within the university. Responding to this concern, my study is focused on articulating the relational nature of student affairs in higher education (HESA), while providing the theoretical grounding to build a systemic critique of HESA and jumpstart praxes that are centered on decolonial aspirations and abolitionist futures on learning and knowledge. To achieve this, the project unfolds in three stages or three distinct but interconnected articles. The first challenges inclusion as a transformative logic in higher education through Sylvia Wynter's overrepresentation of man and conceptualizes the settler coloniality of inclusion, a relational systemic critique of the colonial nature of HESA. The second engages the increasing neoliberal impact on relationships in HESA and draws on Tongan epistemological onto-ethics like the ta-va theory of reality and tauhi va as a practical intervention that centers and valorizes relationality. The final section is an investigation into the logics of refusal within HESA, while also continuing the application of a theoretical lens from the Pacific through the ta-va theory of reality and the Hawaiian concept of kipuka, which highlight the relational nature of refusal as a concept. This final section uses talanoa, or talk-story, as a methodological intervention to pursue decolonial and abolitionist aspirations within HESA as praxis to reimagine the field. The study ends with an epilogue that shares my current context while also providing insight for people in HESA to support healthy relational work as a way to be in, but not of, and beyond the university. [The dissertation citations contained here are published with the permission of ProQuest LLC. Further reproduction is prohibited without permission. Copies of dissertations may be obtained by Telephone (800) 1-800-521-0600. Web page: http://www.proquest.com/en-US/products/dissertations/individuals.shtml.]