Rates of school bullying victimisation have been noted as high as 69% for children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) yet there remains neither an anti-bullying programme specifically for use in special schools, nor a standardised definition of bullying. The most frequently used definition is not inclusive of SEND pupils' experiences, leading to difficulties for school staff to identify and resolve bullying situations. Pupils can be left without the support they require to maintain good mental health. After consultations with 14 special schoolteachers and parents of children with SEND, this paper suggests two inclusive definitions: a revised bullying definition to expand understanding of power imbalance and victimisation awareness, and the new counter-connecting definition which highlights that bullying behaviour is not always intentional or only within the peer level. Schools should use both definitions to accurately identify and manage negative interactions at school to better support all pupils.